A certain fellow I know, after DA'ing himself, took one of his son's really dirty diapers and rubbed it all over the door handle of the Kingdom Hall. Same guy also super glued some tooth picks and then broke them off in all of the door locks the afternoon before the memorial one year. He's also planning on pooring some petrol onto the grass of the local KH in the shape of "CULT" where many passer by's can see it. Quite the humerous chap that guy is...........
Jesus Christ
JoinedPosts by Jesus Christ
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50
WHAT'S THE WORSE THING YOU DID AT THE MEETING?
by Mary ini would have to say the worst (aka: funniest) thing i ever did at a meeting was when i sat with the circuit overseer and his wife (many moons ago......) .
anyway, he was really prim and proper and she was of course, a very submissive wife who barely spoke without her husbands permission.
anyway, he goes to the platform and starts off by asking th audience: who was ahab?
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IT JUST DEMONS .....PART 2
by ugg infor those who read....and also responded to part 1,,,,,,yes,,,,i have seen a medical doctor..... i am on antidepressants and will see the psycologist for the 3rd time this friday....she is a nice.
lady....it has all been very hard,,,,as you know,,,,to say anything against the organization,,,,even if.
it is the truth,,,,is a grave and deadly sin....so my conscience has hurt.....my husband has allowed.
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Jesus Christ
Just remember, they're the crazy ones, not you.
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JWs Are the Cleanest People on Earth
by comforter inone benefit that jws get from being jehovah's people is the knowledge of good hygiene.
before i came to be a witness, i did not think it was important to brush my teeth thoroughly or wash under my arms real good and use deodarant.
i also tended to be a pack rat with a messy car.
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Jesus Christ
Wow, this is the only thing comforter can argue without being shown to be a total moron, JW's smell good. Before that he smelled but after becoming a JW he learned how to bath. Then again, since they are quite good at brain washing people they may as well wash the rest of their bodies as well.
Dad damn, this thread is too funny. "Oh yeah, well, well, well, we know how to wash ourselves!!!"
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Do you hate me?
by SpiceItUp inperhaps i'm just a bit paranoid..but i get the feeling that there are a few posters that actually hate me (before its assumed--no i'm talking about lack of responses to my threads.. and no i am not talking about a disagreement of opinion) i am talking about a few posters that come across to me as very hateful in their responses.. and yes i know that not everyone here will like me (even though i'm so darn sweet and cute...lol) but it is an intense animosity vibe that i get and can't seem to shake.. maybe i am mistaken and maybe its just me..... but if there is anyone out there that does dislike me that much---i am curious as to why---only because i try to learn and grow everyday and your input would be especially valuable and probably essential to that -growth.. so whats the verdict---do you love me, hate me or just not care either way?.
sincerely yours,.
ps--this is in no way an ego thing--i really want to know!
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Jesus Christ
Its a joke people. Does no one see the humor in Jesus Christ saying he hates someone and calling them a sick puppy? Also, for the bazillionth time, I have nothing to with the JW's.
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Was Jesus a.........????
by SpiceItUp inthere were 3 good arguments that jesus was black.
1. he called everyone "brother".
2. he liked gospel.
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Jesus Christ
Seriously, you all haven't even come close to guessing who else I've posted as. I will say that since I started posting as my true self I've not used any other name. I'm hoping Simon will be nice and not reveal anything. Just because someone supports me doesn't mean that they are me.
Want a hint? I hate French food.
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Was Jesus a.........????
by SpiceItUp inthere were 3 good arguments that jesus was black.
1. he called everyone "brother".
2. he liked gospel.
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Jesus Christ
Wow, I'm not black or white, male nor female, gay nor straight, and yet, I'm still not Michael Jackson.
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Cheney on the way out?
by teejay incheney's job at risk .
by david wastell.
concern is growing among white house officials that dick cheney, george w bush's most trusted adviser, has become a liability in efforts to distance the administration from the corporate scandals panicking the stock market.. as the dow jones index slumped to its lowest level since october 1998, falling almost five per cent on friday alone, officials privately admitted that investigations into the american vice-president's past business dealings have turned him into a political problem.. the securities and exchange commission, america's financial watchdog, is investigating mr cheney's previous role running the beleaguered halliburton oilfield services company.. last week's stock market plunges gave rise to unprecedented speculation among republicans that mr cheney, seen until recently as the steadying hand on the tiller, may have to be sacrificed as mr bush's running mate for the 2004 election.. a republican congressional official said:"any of those would have at least one big advantage over cheney.
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Jesus Christ
I just think its funny in a sad sort of way that someone gets fewer votes than his competitor from all over the nation gets into the white house because of court rulings involving votes in a state where his brother is governor. After that who does this new president who recieved fewer votes make attorney general? A man who lost his bid for senate to a dead man. What does that say about someone when the people who know them best would rather have someone who isn't even alive represent them in the senate? So, for losing this election to a dead man the president, who has less votes but won because of a disputed election in a state where his brother rules, rewards them with one of the most powerful positions in the country. Not only that but once this loser to a dead man gets into his power and after the worst attack on this country ever he starts calling for laws that strip private individuals of their civil liberties saying the government needs those laws to protect its citizens when the previous laws would have worked just fine had they actually been enforced.
1984? No, not yet. Just give it some time.
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Funny Story
by Jesus Christ inok, this story is about one of my earthly friends (not me because i'm up in heaven and everything) and can't help but laugh my ass off at it everytime i think of it.
this guy is about as big of an apostate as you can possibly get.
he was born and raised a jw but stopped going as soon as he possibly could and now just about everyone knows he's an apostate.
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Jesus Christ
Ok, this story is about one of my earthly friends (not me because I'm up in heaven and everything) and can't help but laugh my ass off at it everytime I think of it. This guy is about as big of an apostate as you can possibly get. He was born and raised a JW but stopped going as soon as he possibly could and now just about everyone knows he's an apostate. Even when he was a JW he wasn't a very good one and was almost always considered bad association.
So anyway, the town this guy lives in has this HUGE fair every fall for a whole week and on the last night its not unusual to get almost 200,000 people walking up and down this one stretch of street that's closed off for the week. My friend (not me of course) is walking by some food booths when he sees his one and only old JW girlfriend. The last time he (not me) had talked to her it had been a few years back (he hadn't been to a meeting in a couple years) and she was very much DF'd then for "lose conduct." They had dated when they were both good little witnesses and it just didn't work out but they stayed friends because they did get along well. She ended up getting disfellowshipped and moved in with a couple other girls who had been DF'd and lived in the same apartment complex so they hung out from time to time even though he was still a JW and she was DF'd. So anyway, my friend (not me) runs into this girl at the fair and starts talking to her and starts going on about "how great it is to be out of that fucking cult!!!" (exact words). As it turns out her husband was there with her (this is how he ((not me)) finds out she's now married) and they start talking some. My friend (not me) asks her husband how much he knows about all the JW crap and he says that he was a Bethel for a while. Well hey, if you're married to Jamie and served at Bethel that means that "Hey, congratulations man, you've really turned apostate!" (once again, my friend's exact words). So anyway, they catch up a little bit and my friend (not me) continues to say just about every horrible thing he (not me) can about the JW's and then walks on to get some more vodka.
A couple days later my friend (not me) calls his best friend Shawn who just happens to be DF'd for apostacy to tell him about running into Jamie. Shawn is just amazed at all of it. Why? Because Jamie and her husband talked to my friend (not me) at all. As it turns out after my friend (not me) stopped going to the meetings Jamie went back, got reinstated, and was now married to a guy who is a lifelong die hard JW who may (couldn't remember) by a MS. A few weeks later Shawn heard through his mom who still talks to him that it seems that Jamie and her new husband were so suprised that my friend (not me) would even speak to them they just went along with it because they had no idea what to do and right after they talked Jamie and husband left the fair. Not too long after that the local needs talk was about avoiding apostates and it was mentioned that good little JW's should limit their time at wordly events because apostates may be there and you should avoid them at all costs.
The moral of the story is that if you see one of your old friends out in public somewhere, go say hi and trash the Borg every chance you get. What's the worst that could happen? There'll be a local needs talk about avoiding you is about all they can do!!!!!Edited by - Jesus Christ on 21 July 2002 12:24:49
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Do you hate me?
by SpiceItUp inperhaps i'm just a bit paranoid..but i get the feeling that there are a few posters that actually hate me (before its assumed--no i'm talking about lack of responses to my threads.. and no i am not talking about a disagreement of opinion) i am talking about a few posters that come across to me as very hateful in their responses.. and yes i know that not everyone here will like me (even though i'm so darn sweet and cute...lol) but it is an intense animosity vibe that i get and can't seem to shake.. maybe i am mistaken and maybe its just me..... but if there is anyone out there that does dislike me that much---i am curious as to why---only because i try to learn and grow everyday and your input would be especially valuable and probably essential to that -growth.. so whats the verdict---do you love me, hate me or just not care either way?.
sincerely yours,.
ps--this is in no way an ego thing--i really want to know!
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Jesus Christ
Yes, even I hate you. You are doomed for eternal damnation you horrible, sick, little puppy.
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KM- Disfellowshipped Relative 8/02
by WildTurkey in.
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edited by - wildturkey on 20 july 2002 13:59:47.
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Jesus Christ
Hmmmmm, they tell all the media that former members aren't treated badly, they print this crap saying how they shouldn't even talk to their own family. That's it, I'm smiting them with a sex abuse scandal.